Monster
by TheCherrySunn
Summary: Charlie begins to battle depression and inner demons during her sixth year of Hogwarts. But maybe Sirius is the one who can save her. I'm terrible at summaries but it'll start out light hearted and slowly merge into the darker themes. Read and Review!
1. Intro

I do not have a mind.

I have a traitor within my skull.

He pounds and

pounds

and pounds away

At all that I used to be.

He is disgusting and slimy and he whispers to me.

Whispers and whispers and

_ whispers things._

And the things he whispers are slimy,

Just like him

But I cannot destroy the

_ Monster_

Because he is a part of me.

He is my own creation.

And as long as I exist, he exists with me

He exists and he

_ whispers_

Whispers and whispers and

Whispers things


	2. Waking Up Is Ever So Hard To Do

**AN: Hi! Terribly sorry this is quite short but I've only really just gotten into writing so any sort of reviews or tips or anything would be much appreciated! Sit back, grab a bag of extremely unhealthy food, and I hope you enjoy!**

I ache.

Not the kind of ache where you can be like "Oh I was such a silly goose last night what with drinking all that caffeine/ staying up late/ repeatedly banging my head against the bathroom sink and now my head hurts!"

No, I ache in my entire being. I feel my spine crack and groan in protest as I slowly lift myself from my bed. The crimson covers pool around my midsection and I have to resist the strong urge to sink back into them and avoid another day. But sunlight is streaming in through small gaps in the curtains covering my bed and I hear my roommates stirring and it becomes painfully obvious that I will have to leave my little dome of social isolation and attempt to be a normal teenager.

I roll my neck around and grimace at the popping noises I'm rewarded with.

"I swear I'm turning into an old woman at 16. Soon I'll be senile and attempt to constantly hit all of you with my walking stick." I grumble as I shuffle across the floor towards the dresser.

Shuffle is probably the wrong word actually. It's more like "slowly slide out of bed and onto the floor then half crawl half walk to the dresser in a desperate quest for a hair brush" kind of thing. But hey, since when am I specific.

"Charlie. If you hit me with anything I swear I'll punch you in your ovaries." Alice half yells from across the room.

"I'll be senile Alice darling. My ovaries will have turned into prunes. I doubt punching them will make much of a difference."

"Either way something is getting punched." She griped as she padded over to the bathroom. Alice was definitely not a morning person, in any sense of the word. Then again I can't say very many people I know are, including me. I stared vacantly at the mirror waiting for some sort of hocus pocus miracle to happen and for me to suddenly be half as gorgeous as my roommates. Who are Lily Evans, Marlene McKinnon, and Alice Prewitt. Just in case you were wondering. Unfortunately for me, the mirror wasn't shape shifting. Same old Charlie: long black hair, plain brown eyes, and the most infuriating paleness imaginable.

_Nothing you can do about that except pay thousands of dollars to get your face hacked up_

A bit of makeup and I was ready to go. Or at least as ready as was the minimum. Normally I'd go through that whole foundation-powder-eyeliner-mascara-lots-of-random-other-shit routine but today was a lazy day. Foundation and mascara would do.

I began the walk down to the common room when Lily's voice stopped me.

"Hey. Charlie. Remember that amazing thing called a uniform? I'd probably be good to put that on."

"Ah yes dearest savior, thank you for pointing out the error of my dress. Imagine my embarrassment were I to walk out into the gaze of others in such attire as I currently possess!" I punctuated all of this with a dramatic flailing of my arms and a faint to the room. The whole charade was ruined though by a white shirt fluttering onto my face.

"Get dressed love. We're going to miss breakfast!" Lily said with a chuckle as she waited by the door. I was stilling pulling on a shoe as we reached the common room, and nearly fell on my face. Smoooooooth. Now was not the time to dwell on my complete lack of coordination of ability to do any simple task correctly. Now was time for food. The walk to the main hall was uneventful, and as we took our seats I let a slightly hopeful thought flit through my head that maybe today would be good to me. Then I felt an arm be carelessly thrown across my shoulder, and several loud sounds as four bodies positioned themselves near my friends and I.

The Marauders.

I could already feel anger coming from Lily, who was viciously spearing a bit of French Toast on her fork.

"Good morning ladies. How are all of you this fine day?" Asked a voice from my left. A voice that happened to belong to the mouth that belonged to the man who currently had an arm slung around me.

Sirius Black.

This day was going downhill fast.


	3. The Breakfast Club

**A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry for not updating sooner, but the holidays have just been absolute chaos around my house. Thanks to the people who alerted/favorited this story! It really means a lot to me! As always, reviews are welcome.**

**Very welcome.**

**Seriously. Review review review! I'd love to know what I can do better or what you like about it so far or things you dislike. I rpomise you my feelings won't be hurt if you hate it. So sit back and enjoy I guess!**

Don't get me wrong. Sirius is a good guy. Probably one of my best mates, But I couldn't take him this morning. I couldn't take the sexual undertones, the constant bragging, and the general cockiness that was Sirius Black. He gave me his oh so infamous grin and popped a piece of toast in his mouth as I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.

Physical affection wasn't my strong suit. I just generally wasn't a touchy feely kind of person. I gingerly picked up his arm and set it on the bench as I reached across the table for some orange juice.

"My dearest Lily-flower, you look especially radiant today." James cooed as he squeezed between Marlene and Lily at the table, causing quite a bit of fussy noises to come from both ladies. Lily's face was quickly heating to a color that could rival her hair. Just as she opened her mouth to begin what I'm sure would have been a lovely tirade, Remus cleared his throat and meekly asked her for the butter. That was why I loved Remus. He always knew how to avoid fights, exactly what I needed to add to my potions paper, and I swear to god if I didn't think of him so platonically I would marry him due to his sweetness.

Meanwhile, while I was watching the short show take place, Sirius had happily moved his hand from the bench I placed it on, to my thigh. I felt myself make an awkward face, and began to scoot away as discreetly as possible while crossing my legs, hoping to dislodge the offending appendage from my leg. Sirius just chuckled. Of course.

"What's the matter love? Too early in the morning for the advances of my lovely self?" He crooned dramatically.

"Who says you're lovely?"

"Just about the entire female population of the school?"

"They also find James attractive. And James has about the biggest head I've ever seen."

"Oi! My head is perfectly attractive." Laughing, I reached across the table and mushed James cheeks together like my Aunt Sally did to me when I was little.

"Awww, Jamesie Bear, You know you're beautiful to me." I said, mustering the best baby voice I could. He shoved my hands away and began savagely glaring at his eggs while the rest of our group burst into laughter. My laughter died a bit in my throat when I glanced down at my lap.

_Disgusting. Why would Sirius even want to touch those things you call legs?_

I blanched a bit at that thought. I was hardly ever so critical of myself, yet that was nothing put pure disgust I'd felt for myself moments before. I was fit enough. I mean, maybe I'm not short and petite like Alice, and I may not be supermodel thin like Lily, but I had my height going for me right? 5 feet and 9 inches put me quite a bit taller than most girls my age, but at least gave me an ability to stay somewhat thin. I absentmindedly pinched my stomach and nearly gagged when I felt how much fat was between my fingers. Remus must have noticed my sick face because he began to look at me worriedly.

"You alright Charlie?" Now everyone turned to stare at me. Great. Attention.

"Yeah, I'm just a tad sick this morning. I might go to the hospital wing after breakfast." I put on a slightly pained expression and everyone nodded sympathetically and returned to their conversations.

I eyed the mountain of food on my plate and nearly all of my appetite left me. Maybe just a slice of toast and eggs this morning. No need for anything else, right?


End file.
